Thursday, June 19, 2014

1025

Picture taken when I arrived in Dubai on 29 Aug 2011.

1025 days ago, I arrived in Dubai after much struggles.

Max and I were having a tough time... My business was hanging by the thread.. Max made a tough decision to leave the Navy and got offered a job which was supposed to send him for a month to Dubai and post him back to Singapore after that.

One month became two. Two months became 6. Before we knew it, one year had gone by. We had spent a grand total of 2 months together in that one year. One month during his holidays home and another month where me and Ace just visited him.

It was tough for me. Through that one year, there were so many times Max seems to be able to come back, only to meet with some sort of "challenge" tat stopped him. The people who recruited him left, there were major changes in his office. I couldnt decide if I should wait or if I should join him. I started to halfheartedly look for a job but never knew if I should start working or pack my bags and leave. I had to spend carefully as I was not working and had to rely on Max to send money home. I had to think twice even if it was just a cup of kopi but I was lucky I had generous friends who always gave me treats because "You are not working and I am mah.."

It was even tougher for Ace... He always cried a good 15-20 min everytime we say goodbye to his dad. He will look really sad for the next two weeks or so after his dad leaves and once a month, he will have a melt down and cry in the middle of the night.

So some time three years ago, after a good talk with one friend who told me I will probably be happier in Dubai, I decided that we will just heck it and shift to Dubai. A family has to be together somehow and long distance is no way for a family to live, much less anyway for any loving couple to live.

So we sold our car, sold our flat... I used almost two months to pack the flat ALONE (for most part lah. On the last day, a good friend came and helped me pack till 2am in the morning.. Also, someone else promised to return to SG to help but did not lor:)) And then, we packed our bags and what little things they allowed us to bring and arrived in Dubai on my birthday.

Max promised me then that we will return home together after 2 years.

During these 1025 days, there were many false alarms that we will have a window of opportunity to return to sgp. But each time, something always changed in the management and we will go back to square one. I so badly wanted to return to SGP to my family, my friends and my freedom. For me, it felt as if I had to give up EVERYTHING in my life to be with Max here in Dubai.  Each time I was given false hope and disappointed, I will fall into some sort of depression that saw me baking and cooking fervently. Sometimes it helped. Other times, it didnt.

I didn't tell many people this but in these 1025 days, I cried a total of 26 times while I was missing home. The worst bouts of crying usually happens when someone i love in Singapore is injured or sick.

I had wondered what is wrong with me or my life. Why am I "not allowed" to return home?  I went for spiritual workshops to work on those "unconscious obstacles" but still, time after time, I just end up getting "STUCK" here.

Some time near to the 2 year mark, I had a realization that Max had no intention of returning after two years like he promised. If an opportunity came, he would take it but he is actually really happy here in Dubai.

Some time around that 2 year mark, I discovered that I rather liked Dubai too:)

I love it here during winter. I love going to the park in winter and experiencing East Coast Park with air con. I love the huge malls and large spaces with relatively small numbers of people.

I love the crazy sales that allow me to purchase Stella McCarthny designs at 60% discount.

I love the wonderful friends I have made here. My soka friends Momo, Kyung Ah and Leiko were a constant source of encouragement to me. My SWG friends made me feel much at home. My Dubai Sister Ah F who goes shopping with me and allows me to recreate a semblance of the freedom I used to enjoy when I was in SGP  and my Dubai Gang always helped me feel better about the boring weekends by arranging to go on trips, excursions or just finding a reason to have a meal together!

I love the fact that Dubai has given me a chance to learn how to cook. From a really novice cook who did not even know I had to add oil and salt when frying a vegetable.. I started to bake, fry, steam, roll my way to recreating all the Singaporean dishes we miss.

I love it that the educational system here in the international schools are so holistic. Ace never fails to pleasantly surprise me with his stories about what happened in school and how or what he learnt in school.

I love it that there are tonnes of free to air movie channels here and I always get to watch rerun after rerun such that even if I missed some part of a movie, I always found out what happened in the end:)

I love it that the service staff here are so easy going. They allow you to take pictures and do pretty much just about anything within reason as long as you do not expect speedy service:)

I love it that there is so much do do and explore during winter in Dubai and love it most that Burjuman Mall near my place always has interesting activities for Ace to take part in.

I love it that I am a mere 20 min walk from the Dubai Creek and I love taking the abbra on a cold, windy day as I feel the wind beating on my face.

I love it that drivers always give way to me when I am holding on to Ace while crossing the road and I love it that they have Women and Children's Carriages on the train here so that you only need to squeeze with other women.

I love the soup Dai Gor from Lan Kwai Fong always serves us for free as it reminds me so much of home.

I love the Best di kar in Dubai which is sadly no more at Red House and their famous tomato fried egg which is still the best I have ever tasted in the whole world.. yes, even including CHINA:) haha

I love being told, "Oh, that is a nice country!" whenever I tell others I come from Singapore...

I love watching the Emirates go about with their prettily decorated cars with faces of their beloved shiek during the UAE National Day..

I love the layers in the skies during winter where you can see the beautiful layers of pink, orange and blue across the skin...

I love looking out for Burj Khalifa whenever we are driving in unfamiliar territories as it sort of serves as a "lighthouse" and lets me know which way is home.

I love telling people that I watch fireworks until sian because where I lived, they usually had a month of daily fireworks twice a year:)

I love it that we are being treated like VIPs at consulate and OSU events and made to feel like we really matter to Singapore.

I love it that I have aircon in my house 24/7. A luxury I will not indulge in if I were in Singapore.

I love it that the people here are so vocal and engaging and I love being exposed to so many more different cultures.

1025 days later though, I have just been told that it is just about time to say goodbye, pack our bags and return home to Singapore.

Thank you Dubai. Thank you for all you have shared with me. Thank you for all you have taught me and thank you for all you have given me. I will now gently and happily let you go as part of my past in my life. I will miss you I think and perhaps, come 2020, I will visit you again with my family:)

Singapore, HERE I COME!:)

PS: Post was written on the day Max tendered his resignation and we were CONFIRMED to be returning home for good!:)

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