Friday, May 18, 2012

Why Don't They Comfort Her?

I usually try to share about all the big news that is currently happening in Singapore with Ace. For example, I would tell him about how Hougang is actually having a re-election now.. and also about how the MRTs have been breaking down...

And because the Ferrari incident is such a big thing at the moment, I also wanted to tell Ace about it too.

The other day, while we were driving somewhere, me and Max were discussing about this incident in the car. Apparently, there is a 31 year old PRC in Singapore who was drunk and he drove a Ferrari.. he beat the red lights at a close to 200km/hr speed and hit a taxi.. causing some 3 deaths.. including his own.. deaths of the taxi driver he hit and the female passengers and some other people who were injured due to the accident as well. Apparently someone with an in-car-camera managed to take a video of the accident and the video went viral on youtube and FB, creating a big buzz....

I was telling Max about how I was reading Facebook and there were so many people who commented nasty things like the Ferrari driver's family should compensate in money since they are rich lah.. or as they own some food stalls, they will say something like let's boycott his stalls lah... or they will say nasty things towards not just the dead driver, Ma Chi.. but also towards his family....  And then people were also upset the newspaper described Ma as "nian qing you wei" means means young and with many achievements.. (What the hell, it is a newspaper leh, and they will sure sensationalize PLUS it is just a description wat... and it is true tat if at 31, one can afford a condo, a few food stalls and also a Ferrari, they do have many great achievements! They would naturally be considered young and successful!)

And then leh, a few days later, after all the outlash, the family of Ma, through the newspapers asked people to please stop their poisonous tongues..and they kenna another backlash... Most of it being something along the lines of, "If you dun like it, go back to China lah..."

So I was telling Max that I think that in this case, I feel Singaporeans are really a petty lot... I mean, I am very sad for the taxi driver too.. you know, my father in law is a cab driver who drives at night and that might very well have been him! But I dun think it is decent to call the widow and her children names or say nasty things to them.. and whether they want to compensate or not has everything to do with the heart, nothing to do with the money.. plus, this is between the two families wor, why are other people making comments about it or asking them to do this or do that?

And too bad for the family though, I dun think any MP will stand up for them cos the last time someone with decency stood up and asked Singaporeans to reflect upon themselves over the chinese scholar calling singaporeans dogs, he also kenna slammed... (With regards to this, I think he should have known better and deserve a punishment but I also do think many singaporeans were a little over heated about it.. but too bad  for him tat people have to vent their anger about how the government is not giving enough scholarships and chances to our local students via this incident..)

While I also understand tat the strong sentiments came out also from the fact that many Singaporeans are unhappy with the government's policies of allowing many FTs into Singapore and I understand where the frustration comes from cos I hate the crowded MRTs too, and I hate it tat HDB prices are on the rise and that it is getting more difficult to find decent employment... Cos I am Singaporean too

But I also think that no matter what Ma did, he already paid for his stupid mistake with his life!

To be a little fairer... Take away the fact that they are rich and they are chinese.. just think of them as humans.. as persons... The widow is young.. her child is 4 years old... she has another one in her tummy and the deceased husband is the main breadwinner. And he is DEAD! Yes, he was dam stupid but he is dead and he paid for his mistake dearly indeed!

If you have been pregnant before in your life, I think one can sympathize how this is a BIG blow already to the widow. Also, add that to the fact tat inside the ferrari was a young twenty something year old girl she doesnt know... I think it makes spice enough for a good tear jerking drama... I feel sympathy too for the family of Ma...

There are people who said that the backlash also came because of the fact tat this Ma is PRC and that he is rich.. and I agree..  Cos should he be a poor singaporean who is just speeding in his little Kia, would there be so much backlash? At best, people would say this person is stupid and has to pay for this mistake by leaving behind his wife and young children...

Anyway, of recent days, the wife has written something on a friend's blog . Firstly, she apologized to all involved in the accident including all the victims and their families.. and stated that they will be awaiting information from the police and that they are ready to take responsibility and do what is right.. and she also make a plead for people to stop the backlash and please respect them.. cos her husband already paid for the mistake with his life.

I was telling Max that I thought it was a rather graceful thing to do and I wonder why people still make nasty comments on this piece of news and say things like "too late..." and then continue to criticize them or keep harping on asking them to compensate the cab driver..

But they are not required by law to compensate in terms of money leh.. even if they are rich, they are not entitled to do so.. if they do.. it is great, if they dun, there is nothing wrong with it too I feel... cos even money cannot really compensate this deep, sad, loss to a family... and in this case, both families are victim of a very unfortunate accident.... and the compensation is really HEART work.. it is all about the heart and never about the money.. cos no amount of money can bring the dead back to life.... But lots of heart and lots of sincerity and apologies can make both parties feel better and carry on with their lives a little happier...

I think that when people post things on the internet, they should have the decency to say only things they would dare say face to face in person... it is not easy but it is unfair to make nasty comments hidden in the dark.. and it is not honourable too...

At this point, my son asked me what I am talking about and so i repeated the whole story to him. After I finished, the first thing Ace said was, "Why didn't they comfort her?"

And then Ace asked if he could read the facebook link to the letter the widow wrote and also the comments that people made.. After reading them on his dad's iphone, Ace also asked me why these people are nasty and say so many nasty things.. but I reminded him that there are people who say nice things as well... But he said that after every nice thing said, there are also always some who said nasty things...

"When someone's family die, they are already very sad. Other people should not say nasty things and make them even more sad..Can you think before you say or not... because you are hurting the family when you say that.. " he said thoughtfully...

Even my  7 year old can see the logic behind this and I wonder why many netizens cannot...

Anyway, my son says that when he becomes Prime Minister, he will make it a rule such that if someone's family die, people cannot say nasty things to them.. if they do, they will be put in jail... cos "When people are upset and hurt, people should comfort them., not say nasty things about them or their family.."

I tell him it is a great idea but this sort of rule might not work since whether people decide to be mature/  forgiving /gracious / honourable or not.. is really a choice... doesn't mean they will follow if it is a rule... Besides, while I dun think these people were behaving well but they were also hurt and angry and that is why they behave this way...

I am just glad though, that my son has got empathy lah:) And I quite like his sense of justice.. got my feng fan when I was young.. wahahaha.. even though I know tat too much sense of justice is just an excuse to judge other people:) hahaha...

PS: We saw alot of silly drivers in Dubai recently and started discussing about the Ferrari accident again.. with us reminding Ace that next time when he drives, drive carefully.. because lives are at stake.. and the stupid drivers who dun signal or cut lanes are the best examples of what NOT to do.. Ace says that when he becomes Prime Minister, he will invent a machine (his current ambition is to be inventor or scientist) that you can put in the car and then whenever another car does something wrong.. the machine will detect and blare out, "Please stop what you are doing, it is dangerous!" and automatically report to the government. "When I am prime minister, everyone has to buy this machine and everyone has to put it in their car... then no more people will do dangerous things on the roads.." he said.. looking very wise and happy with himself that he has a new brilliant idea..  Hahahahah... not a bad idea but a little too LKY style for my liking:) I told him it seems like an interesting idea but he will need to look into more details to see if this is feasible.

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