We attended a full month party the other day.. it was Ace's god sister, Pheobe's party.. and Ace also got to meet his new friend, Qi Rei, for the first time:) Too bad for Ace that Phoebe slept throughout the party.. so at least there was Rei to play with..As I was somewhat in a in a reclusive mood, I actually just mostly sat down and minded my own business while I listened to other people talk amongst themselves instead of getting engaged in conversation myself...
What I heard though was rather shocking to me... There were a few people who were also parents themselves.. talking about their chidlren's experiences in primary one...
One parent recounted this story.. of how her kid and a friend's kid were in the same school in primary one so when she asked her child how she scored for a test and how her friend's child scored for the exam, her daughter said, "Dun need to ask about him, his results always is worse than mine, I am better than him.." And she commented with a laugh that children nowadays are so young and already know that results are important...
When I heard tat story, I felt like primary school education here is so scary. If this is really the case, I think I wish my son can stay in preschool forever lor.. at least the teachers in preschool are respectful towards a child's creativity and still care about the impt things like your heart and whether you are happy.
And another talked about how her pri one kid was actually very concerned about results and how he ranked among his peers... and these parents talk about it happily... I guess they feel that it is good their kids know how to push themselves...
I was actually quite upset when I heard all these and I wish my son will have a much different experience when he goes to primary school. Given the very sensitive and creative nature of my son, I think that primary school might be a teeny challenge for him.. I prayed for him.. in that he would meet many good, caring teachers like I did in life and will still be able to totally enjoy his education:)
When discussing this with two different friends who are tuition tutors, they both lamented that the educational system now is really "jia lat".
One friend said she had a 12 year old student who did badly in school.. after tuition, she improved and was first in class.. so another boy in class who was originally first in class challenged her to be number one in the next exam.. both of the children worked hard for their exams.... her student got 57 marks in the end.. and she was top in her class... the boy was second or third in class and I think he failed..... we wondered what is the point of testing children on things they have not been taught yet and the point of demoralizing them just before their PSLE.
Another friend talked about how a girl came to her for help because she was failing her math exams consistently. So after a month of tuition, the girl actually passed her test.. but upon passing, she failed the next test again and so my friend asked her what was the reason she was not passing.. her reply was quite upsetting as well..
She said that when her teacher saw that she had passed, she actually accused this student of cheating.. "So why make effort to pass.. just fail lor.. anyway, that is what I am expected...fail is better than being wronged.."
And that is not the only case of this happening, another case is also of a student who improved in studies when doing practice but failed at the exam.. when asked for the reason, the student said the teacher would think he peeped at the answers and even his own mother would think that he cheated in his exams...
What is it with parents these days?
Anyway, I came across this post by a fellow mother, and I hope tat her letter will be read by the higher authorities. A more creative or holistic way to approach education in Singapore is needed... I certainly hope it will happen in time to benefit my son:)
Ending on this note, I think parents also have to take the biggest responsibilty of guiding their children about what are the truly important things in life. I commit to my role as a mother and to stand by the things that are truly important than the pressure of excelling academically...
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