Monday, August 23, 2010

Ace Wants To Find A Job Far Far Away When He Grows Up So Daddy Cannot See Him

Ace went into some sort of tantrum about missing his daddy again and this time, it lasted for one full hour..

All along, I was thinking tat when Max comes back and we make decisons about our future, we should include him and his thoughts in our discussion but I never had a chance to talk to him.. so ydya was a good chance for me to bring it up..

It started in the afternoon when he was telling ah yee tat he has a navy hat cos dadddy gave to him.. and he said "But I am so sad daddy is not in navy now.." and then ah yee asked him what daddy is doing now and he said, "Daddy working in Dubai now.." and Ah Yee asked him if he likes daddy to be navy or the new job.. "I like daddy to be navy.. because navy in Singapore.. new job so far away in Dubai and I cannot play with daddy..."

Later in the evening, I brought him to a gathering among Max's secondary school schoolmates and maybe because the party is with a group of Max's frens.. whom he wouldnt meet without Max around.. i guess it made him miss his daddy more... While he was there, he also din say anything and was still happily playing there. but he did see alot of babies and all the daddies were carrying their children and playing with their children there as well lah..

And then we came home and then we were lying on bed and I wanted to sleep liao and he still kept playing and talking to me.. and then we were playing snatching each other's bolster and he used his finger nails to poke into my fingers and I was in pain and so I din want to talk to him...

And then he slowly wriggle closer and closer and closer to me and then he put his face on my lips and forced me to kiss him and he kissed me after tat... and then I said to him in a joking tone.."eee..where got pple like tat one.. forced me to kiss him one..." And then he started crying..

And then I asked him why he cry.. just say sorry to me and things will be ok and he said, "I not crying about this.. I crying about daddy in dubai..." and tears started to flow freely down his cheeks.

And then he spent the next 10 min crying and saying things like "Why daddy want to go dubai and work.. daddy, where are you.. can you come back.. daddy.. can you come back now..." and then he kept asking me, "Why daddy dun want to choose a job in singapore.. why daddy choose job in dubai... i cannot play with him.. i want to play with daddy.. why daddy go dubai and work..."

And then he said he is so sorry.. sorry to me.. for being a naughty boy.. sorry to popo and zhen popo for being rude.. he is so sorry.. he wants daddy to come back... "Mummy, can you give me a chance, can you give me many many chance. I dun want to be naughty boy.. and I want to go dubai to be with daddy...

And so i hugged him and pat him.. and I explained to him that I also wondered about whether it is good to threaten him like tat.. actually i would bring him to dubai no matter wat.. but leh, it is because he always dun listen to wat i say.. i dun have any other idea or any better way.. so i threaten him with dubai and the cane.. it is because i dunno how to make him listen to me...

And he sort of calmed down and said he wanted to be a good boy.. and then he spent the next 50 minutes repeating the sme topic of he wanting to play with Max.. and the more he talked about it.. the more angry he became...

Ace: Why daddy go and choose to work in Dubai.. I want daddy to choose another job.. can you ask daddy to break his job and not sign up for the dubai job? I miss daddy so much and I want to be with him and play with him.. but can you see beside me now? Beside me now here is "kong kong" (empty) one.. tat means daddy is not here and he never play with me...

ME: But daddy coming home soon.... another three weeks daddy coming back already...

Ace: But is daddy going back to dubai after tat? I want to tell daddy.. "YOU CANNOT GO BACK DUBAI!" I want to be with him and play with him

Me: But daddy also dun want to be there.. cos he is all alone mah..

Ace: Ya he is so ke lian because he is all alone.. but it is his CHOICE.. he can CHOOSE mah.. why he msut choose to work in dubai?

Me: Daddy work in that job because of a few reasons. First reason is that he can eearn more money so that he can buy ace more toys ah...

Ace: No, tat is not a good job ... he cannot play with me...

Me: Daddy also work in that new job because he has a good laoban and he wants to follow the lao ban and learn more things from the lao ban...

Ace: No, that is not a good laoban.. cos he never let daddy work in Singapore and daddy work so far in dubai and I cannot see him...

Me: And then daddy also wants to work in that job because he feels it will give him a better future after he leave the navy..

Ace: No, his future is not better because he is not here in Singapore to play with me...

And then he grumbled more about the same topic and then he told me "Mumny i am so angry... I want daddy to come back!" and he started kicking his legs angrily..

And then, what he said next really surprised me... Midway in his tanrum, he told me, " Humph.. next time when I grow up, I will neh neh ni boo boo and find a job in far away place so that daddy cannot see me.... "

Me: But tat means I cannot see you too... and I will cry too..

Ace: I bring you with me lor.. but only I don't bring daddy... humph...

So I explained again to him that daddy also not happy there cos he cannot see ace... and i asked him if he can forgive daddy...

"No!"

And then I explained to him again that daddy is working hard for the family so that we can have a better life..

And then he said he can forgive daddya little bit but he still angry tat daddy is not here...

"Mummy, can you write message to daddy adn tell him tat I miss him very much.. can you tell him to come back and october he dun go back to dubai?

I asked him to tell his daddy how he feesl the next time daddy calls him and tell him that he also misses Daddy very much and then he just repeatedly go on and on about why Daddy is not in singapore why he never choose to come back..

So I asked him.. if we let him choose.. we go dubai be with daddy but we cannot see our family like yeye, nai nai.. popo.. which one he choose? "I miss daddy.. i love daddy and I want to be with him.."

"Ya, but which one you choose?" I ask him.. "I want to choose to be with daddy and also to be with the family.."

And then he grumble somemore and asked me if i can message Max to tell him to come back.. and then i gave him another scenerio.. tat Daddy goes dubai and earn alot of money for him to live in nice house, have car, have alot of toys.. VERSUS daddy comes back... no more buying toys and no car.. which one he choose.. he say he choose Daddy go dubai.. HAHAHAHAHAHA

"BUT I still want to be with daddy because I want to play with daddy..."

And then he finally slept after one hour...

And then leh, the next day morning when he woke. the first thing he said to me is "mummy, can you write message to daddy and ask him to come back because I want to play with him?"

Anyway, I told Ace tat we will discuss about this together as a family when daddy come back lah... I would like to include him somewhat in the discussion and I dun want him to blame us in future for any decision we make... he said he wants to visit Max in dubai but also wants to be with the family..


So after he woke the next day, I asked Ace if he can forgive daddy now and he said, "Yes.."

Later in the day, I told him tat daddy found a mart called Dragon mart in dubai tat is very big and has alot of toys and Ace said he wanted daddy to buy toys for him...

So I asked him, "But you said you dun want daddy to work in dubai wor.. how to buy toys?"

"But I already told you I forgive him mah.. morning I already told you I forgive him.. you forgot? I want him to work in dubai and buy me toys.."

Hahaha.. so xian shi!

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